


blue hawaii

by tagteamme



Series: has anyone checked the mail (prompts) [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Controversial chararacter alignments, Detective Keith (Voltron), Humor, M/M, Wow thats an existing tag nice, brooklyn 99 au, but I stand by them no matter what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 16:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19066690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tagteamme/pseuds/tagteamme
Summary: The squad tries to figure out a crucial piece of information about the precinct's newest hire.“So are you guys outdoorsy?” Lance asks, and Keith shrugs.“Shiro gets antsy if he doesn’t get outside enough,” Keith replies, shifting through a stack of papers on his desk. “We make sure we go out for at least a run every day. The fresh air is good for us.”“Dog,” Allura mouths while Lance is pretty sure Hunk’s miming a dog barking. It’s a little disturbing.





	blue hawaii

**Author's Note:**

> if you follow me on tumblr, you might recognize this as one of the prompts I did a while back! I thought I'd rework it now the sixth season of B99 is on the netflixes.

There’s a lot of questions the ninety-ninth precinct has for its newest detective.

Allura wants to know how someone so young has piled on such an impressive resume, while Pidge wants to know what exactly he’s done to the deep red Ducati he drives to work to make it purr like that. Lotor wants to know why he got clowned for wearing a too-short biker jacket in to work but Keith gets a pass. Hunk says a man that is this reserved should have his privacy respected, but it’s also well known that it’s killing Hunk on the inside that he doesn’t know at least one extremely personal fact about Keith.

Lance is the only one brave enough to ask the most pressing one.

“How was your weekend?” he asks Keith as Keith drops his satchel down on his desk. Keith grunts in return, shifting a couple of things around his desk. He props his helmet up on his desk instead of locking it to his bike for reasons unknown, but Lance is pretty sure it’s just to intimidate like everything else about Keith.

“Good,” he says briskly as he sits down. “Yours?”

Lance blinks, surprised he was asked at all. Though to be fair, he and Keith did successfully complete a case together last week. Working with Keith is good; he’s sharp, attentive, and mostly good with the witnesses. He also moves like he’s in an action movie at any given time, all black-leather and scarred face and Lance can tell why some of the junior detectives think he’s the coolest thing that’s ever walked into the building.

But doing a large drug bust by the docks with Keith is one thing. Socializing with him is another.

“It was good,” Lance replies, and can sense Allura looking at him from the corner of her eye. “Did you spend time with Shiro this weekend?”

Keith raises an eyebrow, and somehow makes even that look intimidating. “Yeah, I went on a hike this weekend and took him along. He hasn’t been able to stretch his legs in a while.”

Lance nods, and tries to parse the information. He looks at Allura, and she shrugs. Hunk gives him a questioning  gesture from where he’s seated behind Keith, and Pidge pushes her glasses up her nose.

“That’s nice,” Lance says carefully. “Do you guys do that often?”

“Nah,” Keith shakes his head, and opens the cabinet under his desk. He takes out a sizeable folder and thumps it onto his desk. “Depends how free the weekend is.”

Lance grimaces as soon as Keith looks away.

“Partner,” Pidge mouths, while Hunk and Allura both mouth the word “dog”. It’s been an ongoing game with them for the past few weeks; the only thing that they’ve been able to glean out of Keith is that he might have a partner and he might have a dog. They know there’s a “Shiro” in his life, but no one is able to figure out whether he’s Keith’s partner or dog.

Keith’s come in with fur on his shirt more than once, but he’s also got a picture of an unreasonably attractive man on his desk. The man is so unreasonably attractive that Lance is 99.9% sure that he’s seen him in a magazine before. Pidge says that it’s probably his partner, but Hunk’s raised an excellent point in that people normally put more personal images of their significant others on their desks.

A majority of their troubles though, has stemmed from how Keith talks about Shiro.

“So are you guys outdoorsy?” He asks, and Keith shrugs.

“Shiro gets antsy if he doesn’t get outside enough,” Keith replies, shifting through a stack of papers on his desk. “We make sure we go out for at least a run every day. The fresh air is good for us.”

“Dog,” Allura mouths while Lance is pretty sure Hunk’s miming a dog barking. It’s a little disturbing. Pidge still stands by Shiro being Keith’s partner.

“Hey Keith,” Hunk calls out. “Did you end up taking the extra peanut butter jar from the fridge?”

“Mhm,” Keith says, looking up at Hunk. He smiles at him, and if Lance wasn’t focusing on figuring out what Shiro was, he’d have an aneurysm. “Shiro loves peanut butter, but I don’t think he’s ever had homemade before. Licked it straight out of the jar.”

Pidge’s eyes widen, and Lance can tell Hunk’s having a hard time keeping a straight face. Lotor’s too busy talking to a police officer about which South Indian restaurant in the city serves their food on better banana leaves otherwise he would definitely have something to say about the way Shiro eats his peanut butter, dog or man.

“Hey Keith,” Allura says and immediately freezes when Keith turns towards her. Lance knows she probably got over-enthusiastic and hasn’t really thought this through. Which is why it doesn’t surprise Lance when the first thing out of her mouth is, “Does Shiro get the newspaper for you?”

The silence on the floor is quiet enough to hear a pin drop and Lance wants to die.

Allura is brilliant, beautiful, poised and smarter than anyone he’s ever met in his life. She’s going to be the youngest Sergeant on the force next month and she single-handedly stopped an attempted robbery at a bodega on her lunch break yesterday. She’s also got a habit of speaking with her foot in her mouth as much as Lance does. Allura tends to get away with it though.

“No,” Keith replies, clear in his tone that he’s humoring Allura. “We have an online subscription.”

Lance almost asks straight out whether Shiro’s Keith’s dog or partner, because Keith’s also said that Shiro “yaps a lot when he gets excited” and “is a demon with a frisbee” while also wearing a ring on a thin chain around his neck and staring occasionally at the portrait on his desk.

It begs the question of whether Keith has a dog _and_ partner or if Keith dog-sits and keeps images of unusually handsome doctors on his desk.  Keith could also possible just have one and not the other, and Lance would be leaning towards Keith having a dog and a celebrity crush because there’s no way someone _that_ good-looking is not a celebrity and is dating a Brooklyn cop.

But Lance has a premonition where he asks Keith whether Shiro is a dog or a partner, and given that his tongue has a mind of its own, if Keith has one, both, or either. In that premonition Keith puts him straight through the floor so hard that Lance ends up in the basement gym. So he holds himself back. For now.

 

* * *

  


“Are you ever going to tell them?” Shiro asks, and Keith snorts. He opens his mouth and Shiro feeds him another spoonful from the garlic mac n’ cheese they’re sharing on the couch. Keith’s in his favourite spot, which is leaning against Shiro’s broad chest while they watch a documentary on tintype photography. Kosmo’s snoozing at their feet, giant paws twitching as he chases a rabbit in his dreams.

“No,” Keith says through his mouthful. “It’s not my fault that they’re a roomful of detectives yet can’t figure out that you’re the guy whose picture is on my desk.”

“To be fair though,” Shiro says, shifting a little so that he can press a kiss to Keith’s temple. “I doubt anyone’s brave enough to come properly see what’s actually on your desk.”

“Lance thinks you’re a celebrity I’m obsessed with,” Keith says, and Shiro rumbles behind him. “What? He keeps asking me what soap opera you’re from.”

Keith has a better picture to put on his desk; after a few months, once he’s settled into his new precinct, he’s going to replace Shiro’s Paediatric Society portrait with a picture of the two of them in a canoe together. It’s Keith’s favourite because Shiro had gotten a giant mosquito bite on his forehead and hadn’t realised till Keith had taken the photo. For now he’s going to keep Shiro’s portrait, part because he likes having a reminder of how handsome his husband is, and part because he really likes to fuck with his coworkers.

“Next time I’m going to tell them how we love going to dog parks together,” Keith says, and Shiro laughs. Kosmo lifts his head up at the words “dog park” and Keith suddenly gets a brainwave.

In the morning, he places a larger framed picture of him, Kosmo, and Shiro at the beach and angles it outwards, just to see the look of mild anguish on each of his coworker’s faces.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Sorry I've been so slow in updating my other fic, life is kicking my ass :') I have a couple more ideas for this AU because I love never letting stupid ideas go so hopefully I'll be able to post more!!
> 
> [ PLEASE CHECK OUT THIS ABSOLUTELY AMAZINGLY EXCELLENT COMIC BY ZUZU](https://twitter.com/zuspacey/status/1178309830307500037)
> 
> catch me on [tweeter](https://twitter.com/tagteamme/) or [tomblr](https://phaltu.tumblr.com/)


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